I Should Have Known
by Bobbie1
Summary: Bosco's got this feeling that its going to be a long night. Then one situation takes control over his life and when Bosco loses control, all hell breaks lose.
1. Default Chapter

I should have known it was going to be a bad day. I can't say why but I just had this feeling. Not that I believe in all cosmic mumbo jumbo stuff. Some people call it women's intuition. Others refer to it as 'listening to your gut'. Hell, I'm not sure what I believe but whatever you want to call it, it was there that day. And I should have listened to it.  
  
We hadn't been on duty long when the call came in. Faith's first reaction was that I was in trouble, that I'd pulled some stupid typical Bosco move. I know this for a fact. Trust me, I know that look when I see it. I've certainly given her enough opportunities to perfect it. That day, that very moment, the look on her face said it all. No words were necessary. Well, not from her side anyways. Me, you know me. I can't seem to keep my mouth shut. Not if my life depended on it.  
  
"What?" I asked getting 'that' look. "Hey, don't even think it. I didn't do anything."  
  
The look intensified as she spoke at me for the first time. "Come on Bosco. I know I didn't do anything to warrant a call from Central, and if it's not me."  
  
"Oh its me then, huh?" I argued putting on my best "I'm hurt' expression. "Thanks a lot. I'll remember this."  
  
What happened next surprised both of us.  
  
"55-David, meet 55-Adam at the Angel of Mercy emergency entrance." I looked at Faith, seeing a dumbfounded look that probably matched the one on my face.  
  
"What the hell?" I asked making a U-turn as we headed south; towards the for Angel of Mercy emergency entrance.  
  
Faith used one hand to flip on the lights and siren while grabbing the dash with the other.  
  
"What?" I asked in a tone that earned me yet another glare.  
  
"Try to keep it on all fours Bos," Faith commented still holding onto the dash.  
  
Traffic that evening wasn't bad. Actually it was good. For the time of day, the flow of traffic was pretty good. We managed to make it to Angel of Mercy in no time. Much to my partner's earlier doubt, we made it in one piece.  
  
I got out of the squad, slamming my car door in frustration. If the remainder of this shift was going to be anything like the first few hours, it was going to be a long night. Little did I know at the time but my comment on it being a long night.well that's probably the most accurate thing I've ever said in my life. Trouble was, I didn't know it at the time. If I had, I would have done everything to try to change things. But this time, I had no control over what was happening. And when I don't have control over a situation, well what can I say.things generally go from bad to worse. And then, all hell breaks loose. 


	2. I Should Have Known

"I don't get it," Faith said practically running to keep up with me. "Why would they tell us to return to headquarters and then send us over here?"  
  
"Told ya didn't I?" I yelled over my shoulder.  
  
"Told me what?" Faith asked.  
  
"That I didn't do anything to warrant a call from headquarters."  
  
"Yeah so, now that we've figured that out, maybe you can figure out why we're here?"  
  
"Beats me," I responded as we came upon the lead to a possible answer.  
  
"There you are," Alex said spotting us as she rounded a corner.  
  
"We're here, how bout telling us why?" I asked in my charming, demanding tone.  
  
"What's going on Alex?" Faith asked with a little more sincerity. "Headquarters has us running all over town."  
  
"Sorry 'bout that," Alex offered before glancing in my direction. "We got the call. At the time I didn't think it was too serious but things changed pretty quick. So I called in and asked them to have you meet us here instead."  
  
"I don't know about you guys but this game of 20 questions is getting old," I spit out.  
  
Before I had time to say anything else, Kim rounded the same corner Alex had just moments ago.  
  
"Bosco." That was all Kim said. It wasn't so much what she said but how she said it. That feeling I'd had earlier about it being a long shift. Well, at that moment, it was back.  
  
As I did a quick study of Kim's face, it hit me. Faith and I had tossed out a lot of questions. But Kim and Alex weren't talking to me and Faith...they were talking to just me. The words echoed in my mind...got a call...not serious...things changed quickly...  
  
"Listen Bos," Alex tried to say but I cut her off.  
  
"It's ma, isn't it?" I shouted drawing looks from several people in the same hall.  
  
After that it was pretty much a blur. All I remember is this pain in my chest. I took off down the same hall Kim had just come from. I don't know why but it only made sense. The look on her face; the tone in her voice. Everything was suddenly clear. Ma was in trouble. The latest jag-off in her life had beaten her up...again... As I passed the rooms, I glanced inside, looking for a woman with bruises and bandages. As I came upon the last bed, I stopped. Frustration overtook me as I retraced my steps, searching as panic set in. It was at that time that Kim and the others caught up to me.  
  
"Where is she?" I demanded. Was I too late? Had some sorry piece of shit beaten her to death?  
  
"Bosco, she's in surgery," Kim interrupted my thoughts, reading my mind as she did. I guess she saw the look on my face and knew I was thinking the worst.  
  
"What? Surgery? What the hell happened?" I shouted. I was so out of control that even Faith wasn't able to calm me down. This is my ma; the one person who meant more to me than anyone. No matter how much I hurt her, ma goes right on loving me. She's all I've got. Just like so many times before, I hadn't been there for her.  
  
"Bos, it was her heart," Kim replied, direct and to the point.  
  
"Her heart?" I repeated. Despite Faith, Alex, and Kim being there with me, I suddenly feeling very alone.  
  
There's a blank spot in my memory from that day. I remember being in the hallway looking for my ma. The next thing I remember is sitting in the doctor's office, waiting for word on ma. It seemed like an eternity. Not that I wanted him to rush operating but damn, I'm no good at sitting around doing nothing.  
  
"Bosco, you want some coffee?"  
  
"No Faith, for the last time, I don't want any coffee." Faith had asked me that question several times over the last hours. I didn't want any the first time she had asked and I still didn't. I know she was just trying to help but I didn't need any help. Ma, however, was another story.  
  
"Sorry," I offered. Faith just smiled and placed one hand on my shoulder, offering her support. This time without any words, not that any words would have made a difference. I just hoped that I'd remember to tell her later.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
It was dark outside when the doctor finally came in. I don't know what time it was but the cars on the street below had their lights on so it had to be late. Kim and Alex had been gone for awhile now. Faith stayed with me. For once, I was in no mood to talk. All I wanted was that doctor to tell me that ma was going to be alright. That didn't seem too much to ask. But was it?  
  
"How is she?" I demanded. Hours of sitting by doing nothing and having no control had taken a toll on me. I was in no mood for long, drawn out discussions. I just wanted the facts.  
  
"She made it through surgery," he replied.  
  
"But?" I interrupted. I can't say why but the way he said it, just seemed that a 'but' who follow. I knew I was right by the doctor's nod.  
  
I listened to the doctor's words on ma's condition. I didn't grasp much of it but what I knew was that she was critical...she'd had a quintuple bypass...the doctors had done all they could...now it was up to ma...the next 24-48 hours would be crucial...all we could do was wait. 


	3. I SHould Have Known 3

"I'm sorry Bos," Faith apologized.  
  
"What?" I asked. Having been lost in my own thoughts, I hadn't realized Faith was still there.  
  
"I said I'm sorry," she repeated. "Some friend I turned out to be. Here you are worried about your ma and instead of being here for you, I fall asleep."  
  
"That's okay," I told her. "You should go home Faith. Fred's probably wondering where you are anyway."  
  
"Bosco, let me worry about Fred," Faith replied. "Besides you shouldn't be alone right now. Why don't we."  
  
Seeing the ma's doctor approaching, Faith didn't finish her thought.  
  
"How's ma?" I asked not being able to read his face.  
  
"She's in CICU," he answered. "For now, she's holding her own."  
  
"Can I see her?" I asked.  
  
"Just for a few minutes," he answered. We followed the doctor down several halls. As we walked, Faith took hold of my hand. I glanced in her direction, appreciating her for being there with me. Somewhere during the past hours, I was feeling like that little kid again, hiding in the closet listening to my father beat ma. As much as I needed to see her, I was afraid of what would greet me when that closet door was opened..  
  
It was worse than I expected. Machines.tubes.monitors. I took a deep breath, trying to rid my throat of the lump that had developed there. I swallowed hard, forcing away the tears that were trying to form in my eyes.  
  
Taking ma's hand, I started to talk to her as a nurse entered the room. I watched her reading the monitors, making notes on ma's chart. She gave me a smile as if to reassure me. After she left, I talked to ma, not really knowing what to say. I hadn't said much when the doctor appeared in the doorway. My few minutes were up. I left the room, finding Faith sitting outside.  
  
"You should go," I told her once again. I could tell by the look on her face that wasn't going to happen.  
  
"Bosco, I don't think you should be alone right now," she argued.  
  
"Faith, I'll be alright," I said, trying to persuade her to go home and get some sleep.  
  
"You will huh?" she said with that look in her eyes. "Tell me one thing. When did you eat last?"  
  
I didn't answer her. Didn't matter cause she already knew the answer to the question. We'd only been on duty for a couple hours when we got the call to report to Angel of Mercy. The last time I'd eaten was lunch before coming on duty.  
  
"Listen, why don't we head on down to the cafeteria and get something to eat?"  
  
"I'm not hungry," I tried to tell her.  
  
"Here's the deal," she started to explain. "We go downstairs and get something to eat and then I'll go home and get some sleep."  
  
"I really not hungry Faith," I repeated.  
  
"Okay," she agreed. "I'm not really tired either so why don't I just sit with you a while longer."  
  
I had to laugh. I think Faith's worked with me for too long. Sometimes she acts just like me.  
  
"Come on," she said with a smile on her face. "I'll let you buy me a coke." 


	4. I Should Have Known 4

I lost track of time. At some point I'd convinced Faith to go home and get some sleep. Worrying about ma was enough for me. The last thing I needed was to worry about my partner out there working with little sleep.  
  
During the morning hours, I visited with ma a few times. Each visit was only for a couple minutes, but at this point, I was glad ma was still alive.  
  
Faith showed up again about noon. How did I know it was noon? Because she didn't show up empty handed; she brought lunch. I tell you, that partner of mine is one incredible woman. She spends eight hours a day putting up with my crap and the rest of her life putting up with Fred.  
  
Faith sat with me and visited ma before she had to leave for work. She promised to stop by later after work. I told her she didn't have to but this was Faith. She'd be there by 11:30.  
  
Ma had a somewhat uneventful day. The doctors kept her sedated, giving her body time to heal. According to the doctors, no change in her condition was a good thing. She was holding her own. I wasn't so sure. I've known ma a lot longer than any of the doctors around here. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something just wasn't right.  
  
Kim and Alex stopped up a few times, between calls as did Doc and Carlos. Sully and Ty stopped by too, said they could only stay for a couple minutes, being that they were on their lunch break. You know, I wonder just how many lunch breaks Sully took that night cause I've worked with Sully long enough to know he takes his lunch break at eight o'clock sharp. You could set your watch by the guy. That night, he and Ty visited at 9:30. Go figure. I didn't see Faith, not that I was surprised; I'd see her again soon enough.  
  
Soon enough came and went with no Faith. I wasn't too worried though. I figured she was probably working on a report, cursing me under her breath for leaving her with a rookie partner. I was a little shocked when Ty showed up just before midnight.  
  
"Hey Bos," he replied. "Any change?"  
  
"Nope; still holding her own," I answered. I was about to ask about Faith when Ty offered an explanation for her absence.  
  
"Faith left a message at the station, apparently her son has the chicken pox. She went home about 9:30."  
  
"Damn, poor kid," I replied. I didn't add 'poor Faith' but the thought crossed my mind.  
  
"Yeah, almost makes me feel like scratching," Ty joked.  
  
I laughed at Ty's comment, grateful for a break in a tense-filled night. He stayed for a half hour or so, preparing to leave just as Kim and Alex popped in.  
  
"Anyone up for a midnight snack?" Alex replied, bags in hand.  
  
I had to laugh at her, standing there with these bags of food.  
  
"You think got enough food there?" I asked.  
  
"I don't know," she replied. "Guess it depends. Just when was the last time you ate something?"  
  
"If I didn't know better, I'd swear my partner put you up to this?"  
  
"The one who puts up with you and your attitude everyday?" Kim interrupted.  
  
"That's be her," I laughed.  
  
"To answer your question, yeah we talked with her tonight. She mentioned that she stopped by today around noon," Kim continued.  
  
"The way I see it," Alex countered. "I figure the last time you ate was probably about say...noon?"  
  
"Is that a question?" I asked.  
  
"Nope, no question cause I figure my guess is close enough," Alex replied. The food didn't last long, given that there were four of us eating. They stayed a while longer. By the time they left, it was time for another visit with ma.  
  
I had been with her for a few minutes when the alarms went off. Doctors and nurses rushing to her bedside. One nurse tried to reassure me that they were doing everything possible for her as she pushed me out of the room. I stepped aside, finding myself in another room not far from ma's. Leaning against one wall, I braced myself as my body continued to shake. I had lost all control, my body feeling like jello. As my legs gave way, I slid down the wall. Pulling my knees to my body, I gave way to the tears, unable to stop their flow. 


	5. I Should Have Known 5

I want to thank everyone who has reviewed my story and also everyone who has stuck with me this far. And since I can't leave Bosco suffering for long.here's part 5:  
  
  
  
I don't know how long I sat there. Time stopped even as the hands on the clock didn't.  
  
The next thing I remember was someone taking hold of my hands. At the time, it didn't really matter who she was. I collapsed in her arms, crying on her shoulder as she rubbed my back, trying to calm me down enough that I could comprehend what she was saying.  
  
"She's alright Bos, she's alright," she said over and over until it finally sunk in.  
  
Pulling myself away from her, I looked into her eyes, not thinking what a sight I must be. I'm sure I was a mess but, at the time, I didn't care. All I wanted was for her to say it again. To tell me that ma was okay. She must have realized that she finally had my undivided attention.  
  
"Hey, listen to me.your mom.she's still with us. Okay.she's hanging on."  
  
"She's not." I started to say before she cut me off. I guess it was obvious from my current state that I thought I'd lost her. I thought ma was gone.  
  
"No," she said shaking her head. She continued to rub my back as my breathing started to finally return to normal. With this normalcy came the realization that I was a mess. And Alex had witnessed it all.  
  
I tried to shake it off, wiping my face with the back of my hand while avoiding any eye contact. Realizing it was pointless; I did what I usually do. I opened my big mouth.  
  
"Sorry about this," I said. "Not the way you're used to seeing me huh?"  
  
She knew exactly what I was saying.  
  
"Hey, listen Bos," she said taking a seat beside me. "Let me tell you something okay. I won't sit here and say you don't get on my nerves at times because we both know better. And you've pissed me off on more than one occasion. But you know something? When we're out there on the streets, I'm glad we're on the same side. Matter of fact, I almost feel sorry for the other guy.almost.  
  
I never took compliments too well. Something I credit my father with since I didn't hear too many growing up. I didn't take Alex's too well either.  
  
"Listen, I uh," I said nodding. "Make you a deal? You don't tell anyone about all this and I won't tell anybody what you said."  
  
"Yeah, right," she said getting to her feet, offering me a hand as she did. "Besides nobody would believe either of us."  
  
She was right about that one; even I had to admit that.  
  
Around the corner, it was much quieter than it was last time I was there. Through the window I could see ma was sleeping. I glanced at the monitors; everything seemed to be back to normal. The nurse who was in with ma noticed Alex and I standing outside the room. She finished writing something on a chart, joining us in the hall. I nodded once more when she said she would page ma's doctor.  
  
They returned a few minutes later. Basically what happened to ma was a complication from surgery. They'd given her some new medicine to combat it. She seemed to be responding well.  
  
"I left my jacket in the cafeteria," Alex explained. "Why don't you walk with me while I go get it."  
  
It wasn't until she mentioned her jacket that I remembered seeing Alex leave with Ty and Kim.  
  
Sitting on the back of a chair was the forgotten jacket. The reason Alex was there when my world came crashing down around me.  
  
"Listen Bos," she said with a serious look on her face. "About what I said earlier."  
  
"You want to take it all back?" I asked in the best joking manner I could muster at the time.  
  
"No," she said with a laugh. "Promise not to get mad?"  
  
"Me, get mad, come on," I joked once more.  
  
"I meant what I said. Bosco, you're one of the strongest people I know. But what just happened.you're exhausted Bos.you need to get some rest. Your reaction to your mom was perfectly normal.for anyone.male or female but it didn't help that you haven't slept in how what? Two days now?"  
  
When I didn't reply, she continued.  
  
"Listen, your body is exhausted. Your mind is exhausted. I think what you need is to get some sleep and I don't mean a ten-minute nap in a chair in the waiting room."  
  
"No.I can't leave ma, not after what just happened."  
  
"How 'bout if I stay then?" she offered, "You get some sleep. I'm sure they can find someplace for you to lie down.even for a few hours. "  
  
"I don't know." I argued.  
  
"Bosco, either you get some sleep or you're going to make yourself sick. And when you do that, they aren't going to let you visit your mom. It's your choice."  
  
"Okay.okay" I said with my hands in the air, as much as admitting defeat. "I'm not gonna make any promises that I'll be able to sleep but fine, I'll give it a try."  
  
"Good," she said pushing me from behind. "For a minute there, I thought I was going to have to kick your ass." Alex's comment brought me to an immediate halt, causing Alex to run into me.  
  
"Hey, move it," she said pushing me forward.  
  
"You kick my ass?" I commented with an evil smile. "Damn Taylor, I love it when you talk tough."  
  
"Now I know you need sleep. You're delirious."  
  
"I'm delirious?" I argued once again. "You just said you're gonna kick my ass and I'm the delirious one?"  
  
"You're hitting on me Bos. You gonna tell me that's normal behavior for you?"  
  
I didn't respond. Taylor couldn't resist.  
  
"Come on, it's bedtime for Bosco." Catching the look in my eye, she continued.  
  
"Nope, sorry Bos. You're sleeping alone this time. Sorry but I promised to keep an eye on your ma and a promise is a promise."  
  
"Damn."  
  
Being a paramedic must have its advantages cause Taylor was able to find a place for me to sleep.  
  
Alex stayed with ma for four hours. By then, she'd been awake for almost 24 hours. She wasn't anywhere near my 'delirious' stage but she was exhausted.  
  
At 5am, she opted to take the nurses up on their offer to keep an eye on ma while Alex caught a few z's. Entering the doctors' lounge, she found an open bed and crashed. 


	6. I Should Have Known 6

I slept five hours.pretty good considering I didn't think I could sleep. Okay so maybe Taylor was right. Maybe I did need some sleep. Don't think I'm going to admit that to her though. No way.  
  
I was just waking up when I noticed Alex standing in the doorway.  
  
"Morning," she said with a smile on her face. I sensed there was something behind that smile but it was too early in the morning for my mind to be solving any mysteries.  
  
"Hey" I replied not being a morning person. Under normal conditions the only way I'd be awake at 6:30am was if I were still awake from the night before.  
  
"Brought you some coffee," she replied, taking a seat across from me after handing me the Styrofoam cup.  
  
"Thanks," I replied taking the cup.  
  
"So, how you feeling?" she asked, that look still on her face.  
  
"Why are you so happy?" I asked, taking a drink of the coffee. It was hot. A little strong but I needed it that way, especially after the past two days.  
  
"Me, I'm always happy in the morning," she answered  
  
"Why?" I asked with a sarcastic tone. Maybe some sleep had brought back some of my finer qualities like my charming personality.  
  
"Hmm, let me guess. Bosco's not a morning person?"  
  
"Good guess," I replied, answering her question before taking another drink of coffee. "How's my ma doing?"  
  
"She had a good night," Alex began explaining. "Her doctor was just in taking a look at her. He wanted to run some tests."  
  
"Tests? What kind of tests?" I asked cutting Taylor off.  
  
"I'm not sure exactly. Doctor said it was just a precaution after what happened last night."  
  
"Last night." I replied as flashes appeared in my mind. It wasn't as bad as the real thing but the memory of it was still firmly etched in my mind."  
  
"Yeah, look Bos, since your mom's having these tests done, why don't we get something to eat?"  
  
"So you actually eat breakfast too?" I asked. "Damn Taylor.you get up at ungodly hours.you're happy in the morning.and you eat breakfast?"  
  
"Something wrong with that?" she asked.  
  
"I'm lucky if I see the a.m. hours unless I've been up all night. And if I have been up all night.let's just adding food to this scenario would be a mistake."  
  
"The idea is to eat the food before you start drinking," Alex laughed. "You know have some food in your stomach."  
  
"I guess ma's copy of "Raising Bosco" was missing that chapter."  
  
"Now's there's a book I won't be reading," Kim replied, standing next to our table in the cafeteria.  
  
"Hey Kim.morning" Alex replied a little puzzled at the appearance of her partner.  
  
"Morning.hey Bos," she replied.  
  
"Hm." I groaned before placing my head on my arms.  
  
"Whoa.somebody's not a morning person," Kim replied with a laugh.  
  
"What brings you in here at this hour?" Alex asked.  
  
"Oh long story.my neighbor came home drunk last night.fell up the stairs.then he's pounding on my door thinking it was his apartment. The guy scared the shit out of me."  
  
"Was Joey with you last night?"  
  
"No, lucky for him, he was with Jimmy."  
  
"That's lucky?" I asked, earning a glare from both Kim and Alex.  
  
"Anyway," Kim continued. "I looked out my door, saw that it was the guy downstairs so I opened my door and tried to tell him that his apartment was down a floor. Finally got it through his thick head. So he goes back to the stairs and this time he falls down them."  
  
"I thought you were telling us why you're here so early," I asked.  
  
"I'm getting to it," Kim frowned before continuing once more. "Anyway, he's laying there at the bottom of them steps moaning. So I went down to try to see if he was alright."  
  
"And he had an owie so you brought him here?" I reasoned, creating my own ending.  
  
"About this time my next-door neighbor came home and here's this guy laying on the steps. She's trying to manage three bags of groceries without tripping over the bum."  
  
"Let me guess, the bag ripped and a can of corn hit him in the head?"  
  
"No! She didn't drop a can of corn on his head.  
  
"She threw a can of corn at his head?"  
  
"No! Bosco, she didn't throw a can of corn at him."  
  
"Come on Kim," Alex urged her to tell the story.  
  
"You know Bosco, I could tell this story a lot faster if you'd stop asking questions."  
  
"You could tell this story a lot faster if you'd just get to the point."  
  
"I'm trying," she shouted, glancing around to see if anyone was looking at us. She continued in a much lower, more controlled voice. "My next-door neighbor wound up tripping and twisted her ankle. I drove her here in her car."  
  
"Your next door neighbor tripped and hurt an ankle? Why didn't you just say 'My next door neighbor tripped and hurt an ankle?'"  
  
"She alright?" Alex asked, ignoring me as I opened my mouth to speak.  
  
"I'm gonna check on ma," I said, pushing my chair away from the table.  
  
"How's the neighbor?" Alex repeated.  
  
"She's in x-ray," Kim replied. "I thought I'd check and see how your Bosco's mom was doing while I waited."  
  
"They're running some tests on her right now," Alex explained.  
  
"Test? For what?"  
  
"Bosco's mom gave us quite a scare last night."  
  
"Us?"  
  
"Well, actually I came in after it'd happened. I talked to a nurse and she told me that they almost lost her due to some complication of surgery."  
  
"Wow! Where was Bosco when it happened?"  
  
"He was in the room with her when she arrested."  
  
"Oh man," Kim replied. "That couldn't have been a pretty site."  
  
"Well, I came back for my jacket and I heard the page from CICU. I guess my curiosity got the best of me. It was pretty busy near her room. I managed to talk to one of the nurses. She kind of filled me in on what had happened. Bosco wasn't around so I asked her if she'd seen him. Another nurse said he'd been there when it'd happened but she hadn't seen him since. So I figured I'd better see if I could find him."  
  
"Obviously you found him." Kim replied.  
  
"Yeah I found him.listen, I sort of promised him I wouldn't tell anyone about this."  
  
"That bad huh?"  
  
"Yeah, that bad and then some."  
  
"That's okay, I don't need details," Kim replied, not digging for any more information. "So you stayed here with Bosco all night?"  
  
"No actually, we talked to the doctor. Then he came down here with me to get my jacket since I hadn't made it yet when I heard the page. We talked a bit. I told him I thought he needed some sleep. I figured he hadn't slept for close to two days. He disagreed, of course, not wanting to leave his mother especially after what'd happened. So I offered to stay with her while he got some sleep. One of the doctors suggested the doctors lounge and he agreed as long as I promised to wake him up if anything changed with his mom's condition."  
  
"You must be exhausted then."  
  
"To be honest, I crashed for a couple hours myself in that lounge. Of course, Bosco doesn't know about that and he doesn't need to know that."  
  
"You sleeping with Bosco now?" Kim teased.  
  
"Yeah right, now there's a rumor I could live without."  
  
"Don't worry about it. Your secret's safe with me," Kim said with a laugh.  
  
"Funny," Alex said glaring.  
  
"Look, why don't you go home and get some sleep. Looks like I'm gonna be here awhile anyway."  
  
"Oh I get it. You're kicking me out so you can have Bosco all to yourself?"  
  
"Been there, done that," Kim replied with a half smile.  
  
"Excuse me?" Alex asked with sudden interest.  
  
"Another long story," Kim explained.  
  
"How bout giving me the Reader's Digest condensed version?"  
  
"Remember the night those teens were killed and we all stood and watched, nothing else for us to do?"  
  
Alex nodded.  
  
"You stayed at the bar with Bobby and Ty but I left with Bosco, Jimmy, and Carlos. Five minutes later, Jimmy and Carlos need to take a leak so Bos stops at the bowling alley. So I'm sitting in Bos' car talking about this ex-boyfriend I had and how I dated him cause I liked his car. Next thing I know we're going at it, hands everywhere."  
  
"Damn Kim, how come I never heard about this?"  
  
"I'm surprised you didn't given that Jimmy came back to the car to find me in Bosco's lap."  
  
"Oh man, that had to be a little uncomfortable."  
  
"Oh yeah just a little.what was worse was Jimmy giving me the old "I worry about you" speech and how he couldn't believe I was 'hooking up' with Bosco."  
  
"Concern? Yeah right. More jealousy or real concern?"  
  
"A little of both I think."  
  
"So, did Jimmy really have anything to be jealous of?"  
  
"I don't believe you're asking me this?"  
  
"And you're avoiding the question which means something."  
  
"Yeah okay, the answer is yes. Bosco's a great kisser."  
  
"Does Jimmy know this?" Alex teased.  
  
"It was just a couple kisses," Kim commented. "I thought you were leaving?"  
  
"Me leaving was your idea," Alex teased getting the reaction she expected. "Okay, okay, let's go see how Mrs. Boscerelli is doing and then I'm out of here." 


	7. I Should Have Known 7

I make no claims to any medical expertise so any mistakes are mine and mine alone.  
  
Kim stayed til almost noon. Her neighbor had actually fractured the ankle and it was taking a while down in Emergency. Not being life threatening, the ankle injury kept getting pushed back on the list of patients to be treated.  
  
I was unusually quiet, according to Kim anyway. I guess I just didn't have anything left to say at that point. The waiting game had grown old a long time ago. Before she left, Kim make one last stop.  
  
"How's she doing?"  
  
"Hey Kim." I said not taking my eyes off the doctor in with ma. He came out while Kim was still there.  
  
"How's she doing?" I asked, pausing to wonder how many times he's heard those words.  
  
"Considering what her body's been through the past forty-eight ours, I'd say she's doing well."  
  
"That's good news right?" I asked trying not to get my hopes up.  
  
"Very good news," the doctor replied. "The tests we ran came back negative."  
  
"Why all the tests?" I asked.  
  
"As I explained to you last night, Rose had a blood clot as a result of surgery. It's not uncommon. Unfortunate given what she's already been through but not unusual. The test results don't give me any reason to believe that she will have any further clots. They also show that she's had no further damage to the heart as a result of the clot."  
  
"So what now?"  
  
"Now we just keep an eye on her. I 'll be gradually taking her off the meds that have kept her sedated. She should be waking up soon."  
  
Ma's doctor was starting to say something else when he was paged.  
  
"I need to take this. If you have any more questions, have one of the nurses get in touch with me."  
  
"Thanks Doc," I said, nodding my head before he managed to get away.  
  
I felt a squeeze of my hand. Glancing I noticed it was from Kim who I'd almost forgotten was sitting with me. I stared up at the ceiling, trying to hold it together. So many feelings pent up inside.anger.fear.panic. Yeah let the record show, Maurice Boscorelli had been in a state of panic. I managed to hold it together until I dropped my eyes from the ceiling to the floor. As if controlled by gravity, a single tear escaped my eye, rolling down my face, magically disappearing as Kim kissed my cheek.  
  
"She's going to be fine, Bos," she said smiling. Finally, I thought to myself. Ma had a long road ahead of her but she was going to be alright.  
  
I walked with Kim back to the Emergency area where she rejoined her neighbor.  
  
After helping Kim and the neighbor to the car, I returned to the hospital. Sitting on a bench outside, I reached in my pocket, pulling out my cell phone. I dialed a number, one from memory. Not the phone's memory but mine.  
  
"Hey, it's me," I replied.  
  
"Bos, how are you? How's your ma? I'm so sorry for not being there. I tried to call you earlier but you must not have had your phone turned on."  
  
The array of questions was somehow comforting. I guess it didn't really matter what she said, just hearing Faith's voice made all the difference.  
  
"Sorry about that, I turned it off while I was down in CICU."  
  
"I forgot about that. With all those machines, I guess it's better to have it turned off. So how's your ma doing?"  
  
"She's better I guess. They're taking her off the sedatives today. She should be awake soon. I just thought I should call you...let you know how things are going."  
  
"Have you got any sleep?"  
  
"Yeah, Taylor was here last night. She stayed with ma while I got some sleep."  
  
"That was nice of her.I'm glad you weren't there all by yourself. I hope your getting enough to eat. You are eating right Bos?"  
  
"Yes mom, I'm getting enough to eat. Hard not to with everyone dropping in at all hours."  
  
"Ty gave you my message then?"  
  
"Yeah, he and Sully were here earlier that night.claimed they were on a lunch break Ty stopped by again after work and as he was leaving, Kim and Alex showed up with food. Taylor all but force-fed breakfast this morning too."  
  
"Alex was there after work last night and again this morning?"  
  
"Not exactly.Faith, last night ma developed a blood clot.complication from surgery. I thought I lost her."  
  
"Oh God Bos, I'm so sorry. I should have been there for you."  
  
"It's okay. Alex had forgotten her jacket so she came back in. About that time ma.anyway, I lost it. I really lost it Faith. I was some kind of a mess."  
  
"I can just imagine. If something like that happened to my mother or perish the thought, one of my kids, I'd be a mess too. So she's okay now?"  
  
"Yeah, they managed to revive.the doctors saved her life.again. She had a pretty good night."  
  
"So Alex stayed with her while you got some sleep?"  
  
"Yeah she stayed with her all night. Actually I woke up this morning to find her standing there with a cup of coffee."  
  
"Breakfast in bed huh? You and Taylor, wow!" Faith couldn't resist the opportunity to torment me about this. That was okay by me. I needed to hear her laugh.  
  
"Not exactly how I'd envision the night before the breakfast in bed part," I added to Faith's attack on me. "I didn't think I'd be able to sleep, not after what happened with ma. But I did. I probably slept about 5 hours."  
  
"I'm glad you got some sleep Bos. I just wish I'd been there for you."  
  
"I know you do Faith but Charlie needed his mom. How's he doing?"  
  
"He's pretty itchy.poor kid.he had a bath with baking soda last night and I put calamine lotion on him this morning. He's sleeping right now."  
  
"Poor kid, I remember when I had the chicken pox."  
  
"Yeah me too," Faith replied. "Emily had them a couple years ago. Even so, she refuses to go near Charlie."  
  
"When I had them, ma kept putting Mikey and me together. I think she was hoping he'd catch them from me and she could deal with both of us at once.'  
  
"Yeah? So what happened?"  
  
"Mikey waited a year to get them."  
  
The rest of the day went by pretty smoothly. I was able to see ma more often and for longer periods of time.  
  
By early evening she was beginning to wake up. I talked with her, doing my best to keep her calm. I always hated hospitals.did everything I could to keep from staying overnight. I inherited that feeling from ma so I recognized the look on her face when I saw it. She didn't want to be there. Unfortunately the situation was beyond my control. If she continued to improve, they were hoping to move her from CICU the next day. I was hoping that would help her. A nurse suggested that once she was in another room, maybe I could brings some things from home.things that would make her feel more comfortable in her room. The first thing I thought of was not what the doctors had in mind. I doubted a bottle of vodka was what they had in mind by comforting things from home.  
  
Trouble was I was at the hospital and my car was still back at the 55th. I'd considered having someone bring it up to the hospital earlier but then decided it was probably safe parked in front of a police station. Now, I was changing my mind.if I was going to get some things (minus the booze, of course) from ma's place, I needed transportation. The idea of carrying her stuff on the subway didn't appeal to me.  
  
I wandered downstairs to emergency, leaving a message. A few hours later, my message had been received. Kim and Alex appeared.  
  
"Got your message, what's up?" Kim asked.  
  
"I need a favor," I said.  
  
"Oh yeah, what's that?" she asked as Alex's attention bounced from Kim to me and back. There was something going on in her head again but I didn't want to go there.  
  
"When you get off tonight, do you think you could bring my car up here?"  
  
It was a good thing we were in a hospital. The look on both Kim and Alex's face was that of pure shock. Neither one said a word as they looked back and forth between themselves.  
  
"Look, I need to go by ma's apartment and to do that I need my car," I further explained.  
  
"So you want me to drive your car.bring it up here?" Kim asked.  
  
"I don't get it," Alex added. I turned to face her, realizing that whatever it was, I was going to hear about it.  
  
"Why Kim?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah, why me?" Kim stated as well.  
  
"Why not?" I asked.  
  
"Because Bosco, nobody drives your car," Kim continued.  
  
"Yeah well normally no one does but right now my options are a little limited."  
  
"So why me, why not Sully or Ty or."  
  
"Sully-drive my car?" I asked not even wanting to visualize that scene. "Look Kim, you like my car right? You told me that once. Who else can I trust with her than you?"  
  
"Her?" Kim commented. "Why is it that guys always refer to their cars as 'her'?"  
  
I glanced over at Alex who at this point was silent except for a giggle she was trying unsuccessfully to hide. Whatever it was, I didn't want to go there at the time. I didn't think I wanted to go there at all, especially not right now.  
  
Kim looked at her and smiled. I tried to ignore that too.  
  
"So, will you do it?" I repeated.  
  
"Fine, I'll do it," she finally agreed. I handed her my keys with a slight hesitation.  
  
"Bos, it's just a car. You act like this is your first born."  
  
Kim's comment earned her a glare from me and another snicker from Alex. I was in trouble. Big trouble.  
  
"Look, I won't speed. I won't run red lights. I'll stop at all crosswalks and yellow lights. I won't even turn the radio on. How's that?"  
  
"Get outta here before I change my mind," I replied turning my attention back to ma's room.  
  
Around eleven I developed a fear. As I was searching the parking lot for familiar headlights, my phone rang. This couldn't be good.  
  
I answered my phone to hear Kim's voice. My immediate feeling was my heart sinking inside my chest.  
  
"Hey Bos, it's Kim. We just finished up a call. Headed back to the station now. Be there in about ten minutes. Thought I better call. Didn't want to worry you."  
  
"Is it that late already?" I said, pretending not to know what time it was.  
  
"Yeah it's after eleven already. See you in about a half hour okay?"  
  
"Okay, thanks for calling."  
  
"Sure thing" Kim replied before the line went dead.  
  
So maybe I was acting a little strange. It was just a car. But it was my car and despite what Doherty had said, my car could beat his any day of the week. I just hoped it wouldn't be beating his tonight with Kim behind the wheel. 


	8. I Should Have Known 8

"Hot damn, I love that car," Kim said in a mood that left me thinking one thing.I'd created a monster. Again Alex snickered. I'm telling you, whatever is going on with that girl.I'm going to find out. When, I don't know. But soon.  
  
"Ready to go?" Kim asked, my keys still in her hands. I made an obvious glance at them hoping I didn't have to do something I'd regret to get them back.  
  
"Nope, but I will be.keys."  
  
"Come on Bos, I'll drive." she said, getting more than a raised eyebrow for her comment.  
  
"I don't think so," I said, my hand still out waiting for my keys.  
  
"Awww Bos, don't be a grouch." Alex said as we walked down the hall. I wasn't about to leave the hospital with my keys still in Kim's possession.  
  
As we reached the car, I walked around to the driver's side, looking at Kim as I did. She tossed my keys over the top of the car. I unlocked my door, reached across the front seat to unlock the passenger door.  
  
"Hey I'm in front," Alex stated.  
  
"No way," Kim replied, "Besides I'm taller; I need the leg room."  
  
"Taylor will you just get in?" I asked, motioning to the back seat.  
  
"Just so you know Bos, I don't want to hear any comments about being in your back seat."  
  
"Not a problem," I said, glancing over at Kim who returned my look.  
  
"Hey you two want to be alone, I can take the subway," Alex said glancing between Kim and I.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Kim asked, turning in her seat to look back at Alex. I glanced back at Alex first, then to Kim beside me, not a clue what these two were referring to.  
  
"Nothing, forget I said a word. Can we go now?" she replied.  
  
"What?" I asked. Something had been going on in Taylor's mind since she I had asked Kim to bring my car to the hospital.  
  
"Spill it Taylor," I demanded.  
  
"That comment I made about the backseat.forget about it," she said, that snicker in her voice again. "From what I hear, there's more action going on in your front seat anyway. I figure I'm safe back here.  
  
"You really like this car don't you?" she directed to Kim.  
  
That did it.my earlier thought about being in big trouble.it was back and now I knew why. Taylor knew all about Kim and I the night those four teens died in the car fire.  
  
I looked over my shoulder at Taylor, then at Kim who only returned my look with a devious smile. I shook my head, glanced out my side window and released a deep breath before resting my head on the steering wheel. Kim and Taylor were hysterical. It'd been a long day and it didn't appear to be ending anytime soon. In fact I think that night was going to be around for a long time.  
  
We finally left the hospital parking lot. It was quiet inside the car.far too quiet.  
  
"Hey Bos?" Kim said, getting my attention. I glanced in my rear view mirror to see Taylor's eyes on me.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"If I had refused to give you your keys back, would you have let me drive?" Kim asked.  
  
"No," I stated.  
  
"So what? Were you going to force me to hand over the keys?"  
  
"Maybe he'd have arrested you for stealing them." Alex suggested from the back seat.  
  
"I don't know Alex, he's not on duty.no cuffs," Kim commented.  
  
"Not exactly," I corrected the two of them. "A cop's on duty twenty-four hours a day."  
  
"So you do have handcuffs then," Kim replied. Following my eyes she popped open the glove compartment where she discovered a pair of handcuffs. I raised an eyebrow when she looked over at me.  
  
"Damn," she said taking them out. "So were you gonna frisk me too?"  
  
"Technically I think he already did that," Alex said with that giggle again. This was my punishment. I was going to die at the mercy of Kim and Alex. Odd I thought; tortured to death by two paramedics.  
  
We finally arrived at ma's apartment. I had no idea what I would bring from her place that would make her more comfortable. I figured whatever it was, I'd know it when I saw it.  
  
Kim and Alex followed me inside. I flipped a switch and light filled the room. I glanced about the room. It felt odd being here without ma, almost as if I was an intruder.  
  
I'd picked up ma's mail from the box. Walking into the kitchen, I set it down on the table. Kim and Alex were still in the living room.  
  
"Everything okay Bos?" she asked. I wasn't sure if my discomfort was that obvious or if she was referring to the condition of ma's place.  
  
"Yeah, everything's fine," I replied. "I just have no idea what ma would want up at the hospital."  
  
"Nothing sticks out in your mind?" Alex asked.  
  
"Other than a bottle of Tequila maybe." I replied.  
  
"I bet her doctor would love that." Kim said laughing.  
  
"How bout a picture?" Alex asked, glancing at a bunch of pictures ma had on a shelf.  
  
"Bos, is this you in this picture?" Kim questioned. Not knowing what picture she was talking about, I went back in the living room.  
  
Yeah, me and my brother, Mikey," I answered.  
  
"Who's older?" she asked.  
  
"Me," I answered. "Mikey was a couple days old when that was taken."  
  
"Aww Bos, you were a cute little guy back then. What were you.about two maybe?"  
  
"Something like that," I answered.  
  
Kim smiled. "Bosco enters his terrible-twos.now there's a scary thought."  
  
"You know Bos, Kim might be onto something." Alex suggested.  
  
I was afraid to ask. Kim did the honors for me.  
  
"See what I figure. You turned two years old.a parent's nightmare- the dreaded terrible twos.. Trouble is, you never got past that. You're still living in the terrible twos." I had to laugh at the comment. Ma would probably agree with the comment. A few others would as well, starting with my partner.  
  
"I didn't know you had a brother," Kim commented, glancing over at me. "Does he even know about your mom?"  
  
"If you were to ask him that question, he'd insist he's an only child." I explained.  
  
"So what happened that make him feel that way?" Alex asked. I swear that girl is writing a book.  
  
"I arrested him for dealing drugs," I said, getting the reaction I got every time I told that story.  
  
"Damn and I thought Jimmy sleeping with my sister was bad," Kim commented.  
  
"Doherty slept with your sister?" I asked, stunned by this piece of news.  
  
"Yeah, that's why he's my ex-husband." Kim explained.  
  
"That'd do it for me," I commented.  
  
"You really arrested your own brother?" Kim asked.  
  
"Yeah I did." I admitted freely. "What the hell was supposed to do? Let him keep selling drugs to junior high school kids?"  
  
"I see your point," Kim admitted.  
  
"Yeah so what about you and your sister? You divorce her too?"  
  
"No, but it's taken a long time for me to get past that."  
  
"Ma's still trying to get past me hauling Mikey's ass in."  
  
"She probably feels like she's stuck in the middle." Kim replied, sounding a lot like a mother. "I think if Joey ever did something like that, I'd be disappointed.very disappointed. But he's still my son and I'd still love him."  
  
"Yeah well Faith's daughter Emily is the same age as some of those Mikey was selling drugs to. If something happened to her and I found out my brother was involved.I can live with myself for arresting him. If something happened to some kids and Mikey was involved.I don't know..it's easier to live with ma's disappointment in me for arresting Mikey."  
  
"Well, if it means anything coming from me, I think you did the right thing." Kim said, a sincere expression on her face.  
  
"That goes for me too Bos." Alex agreed before changing the subject. "So what are you taking to the hospital for your ma?"  
  
"Other than a six pack and a bottle of tequila?" Kim asked.  
  
"I'm about ready for that bottle of tequila myself." I commented, realizing it'd been almost a week since any of us had stopped off for a drink after work.  
  
"Hey, if you feel like stopping off somewhere for a beer, let me know Bos," Kim replied with a grin on her face. "Just give me the keys to your car and I'll be happy to drive you home."  
  
My earlier thought about creating a monster..Kim had just confirmed it.. I still had no idea what to take to ma at the hospital. When the clock in ma's hallway chimed once, I decided to call it a night.  
  
I dropped Alex off at Kim's and headed for home.mine. Ma's heart condition was no longer a life-threatening situation and I figured it was time to get reacquainted with my own bed.  
  
As I entered my apartment, I found an envelope on the floor. It had my name on the front, written in handwriting that was as familiar to me as my own. Can't tell you why but I read the words out loud.  
  
"Just to let you know we're thinking of you"  
  
Inside the card were signatures in an array of colors along with a few smiley faces care of Kim and Alex. I read each one.some with words; some with just a signature. But they were all there: Kim, Alex, Doc, Carlos, Sully, Ty, even Jimmy. It was obvious that Faith had signed the card after everyone else. The last message I read was in her handwriting  
  
'How's it feel to be loved..Faith'  
  
If only she knew! 


	9. I Should Have Known 9

Even in my own bed, I didn't get much sleep.   
  
Too much stuff going on in my head I guess. Everything from the past few days was catching up to me...only thing that I didn't catch up on was all the lost sleep.  
  
I thought of ma and everything she'd been through. Her life wasn't a pretty picture. Everything my pop had put her through; the beatings, the shouting matches, the name calling...no it wasn't pretty but she'd survived it just as she'd survived this whole deal with her heart. I'd never realized it before but what I discovered at that moment was my ma's greatest strength was her heart. She had this ability to love despite if or how that love was returned. She'd loved my father at some point in her life; maybe she still did in her own way. Or maybe she just loved who he'd been the day she married him. She loved my brother too despite all the drugs and everything he'd put her through. And me, well I certainly wasn't innocent when it came to hurting her. I'd hurt her too; too many times in too many ways. But in her heart, she had this amazing capacity for love and it was never-ending...unconditional love they call it.   
  
I remembered talking to Kim and Alex earlier in the day. I had tried to find Mikey and tell him about ma. I'm not sure what the point was. He was too busy snorting some shit to give a damn about ma. In so many ways, he was turning out to be just like my father.  
  
Ma was right about something else too. I really am the guy who wants to solve all the problems; all my family's problems anyway, I'd leave the rest of the world for another problem-solver. Sully needed something to do with his spare time anyway. The guy's not a bad guy, not by any stretch of the imagination. He just does things differently than me.   
  
I thought back to the card everyone had signed. Sully had signed it just as the others had. Except for Faith maybe. Nobody else had signed it like Faith. As much as we argued sometimes, she really was my best friend. At least she had been. Lately things haven't been so good. Not since Fred's heart attack.   
  
You know it's odd how things worked out for Faith and me. Within six months Fred had a heart attack and now ma. Seems we have a lot in common. Well, not entirely. While I may not have been in the best state of mind that night, I didn't stab my partner in the back. I didn't call her names. Maybe I'm making more of this than I should but for some reason I can't shake that one night from my memory. I can't let go of her words. Months later they're still there, just as clear in my mind as they were that night.  
  
Since ma was hospitalized I hadn't talked with Faith. If you get right down to it, we really hadn't talked since Fred was hospitalized: not like we used to anyway.  
  
Morning arrived right on schedule. Morning's schedule that it, not mine. My schedule doesn't include mornings. I was just entering the hospital when I ran into Faith on her way to visit with my ma.  
  
"I thought Charlie was sick," I replied as I continued walking. She followed me as I entered the elevator. We rode in silence to the 5th floor.   
  
My visit with ma was short. The doctors were going to run some more tests, routine they said. I'd hate to think what tests they might run which aren't routine.  
  
I had some things to do anyway. The short time I visited with ma she'd asked for a few things. So I thought I'd go by her place, pick up some stuff, maybe run by the bar and see how things were going there, then head on to work.  
  
Faith tagged along. Why, I'm not sure since she didn't have much to say. It was almost as if she were waiting for me to say something. Me, I had a lot on my mind and talking wasn't one of them.   
  
At the apartment, I managed to find her nightgown and robe. Never made it to the bar but I knew I'd have time for that after work.  
  
Working with Faith wasn't much different than usual. We got through a shift without much fanfare. I stopped off to see ma during lunch. Actually that was Faith's idea given the abbreviated visit from earlier in the day. Besides it gave me the chance to drop off her clothes.  
  
A half hour before our shift ended, it started to rain. It wasn't in the plan but I offered Faith a ride home anyway. Maybe something might seem like old times.  
  
"I thought you were going by your ma's bar tonight," she questioned me as we walked down the stairs.  
  
"I am. I just thought you'd rather get a ride than walk in this weather," I replied as we went out the door. "Wont take but about an hour. Unless you need to get home."  
  
"No hurry," she replied. "I can ride along to your ma's...thanks."  
  
We got in, just as the rain picked up. Timing is everything. The drive to ma's bar was similar to the previous eight hours. Silence is golden. Yeah right. I wonder what kind of a jag-off came up with that one.  
  
Ma's bar was quiet but given that it was a Tuesday, it want all that unusual.   
  
"You want a beer while you wait?" I asked.  
  
"Sure," Faith replied. I set a couple bottles in front of her and took a seat.  
  
"How's Charlie?" I asked after debating whether to talk about the weather or about Charlie.  
  
"He's good," Faith replied. "Still covered in spots but the itching isn't as bad."  
  
"I remember when I had 'em," I replied. "Ma made me this bath with baking soda."  
  
"I did that for Charlie a couple nights ago," Faith explained. "He felt a lot better afterwards."  
  
"Yeah, some tossup don't you think?" I asked, fiddling with my bottle cap. "You feel better...the itching I mean but you look like a prune."  
  
"I think I'll take the prune bit over the itching any day."  
  
"Yeah," I replied. Silence filled the room once more. I took the last swig of beer, depositing the bottle in a recycle bin ma kept behind the bar.  
  
I wandered back to ma's office: not sure why I was there other than to put my space between me and Faith. I opened the safe to discover a lot of cash along with three register tapes. The amount of cash was nothing compared to the totals on the tapes.  
  
"What the hell?" I asked no one but myself since I was the only one in the room at the time. I sat there for a while, wondering why so much cash was in ma's safe. A lot of ideas flooded my head, none of them pretty. I stuffed the money in a paper sack. Half an hour passed before I returned to the bar finding Faith in the same place, same chair, same bottle of beer.  
  
"You ready to go?" I asked. She didn't answer in so many words. Instead she tossed her bottle into the recycle bin and followed me out.  
  
"What's in the bag?" Faith asked, glancing as I tossed some stuff into the back seat.  
  
"Oh just some stuff I need to drop off at ma's," I answered.  
  
"You know if you want, we can stop by there," Faith responded much to my surprise.  
  
"You mean tonight?" I asked. "I thought you needed to get home."  
  
"We got time if you want to stop," she said, glancing at me. It'd been a while since we'd made eye contact. "Besides we go right by there on the way to my place."  
  
"Fine," I replied. We made a few more turns before pulling up in front of ma's place. I grabbed the bag from the back seat. Faith followed me inside. We barely made it in the door before Faith started tossing the questions.  
  
"Bos, you alright?"  
  
"What?" I asked from the kitchen.  
  
"I asked if you are alright?" she repeated. I'd heard her the first time. I was just a little surprised that she was talking to me.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine, why?" I replied before going back into the kitchen.  
  
"I don't know. You just haven't been yourself lately."  
  
"Lately meaning what?" I asked. "Today's the first day I've talked to you in what...a week? Why don't you just come right out and say what's on your mind."  
  
"I know when we worked together last Bos. It was the night your mom got sick. I was there remember?"  
  
"Yeah I remember...it wasn't exactly one of my better nights?"  
  
"I know that Bos, better than you might think. I went through the same thing with Fred."  
  
"Yeah I know, I was there too remember?"  
  
"Yeah I know. I don't know what would have happened had you not showed up when you did."  
  
"Not so useless after all huh?" I mumbled under my breath.  
  
"What are you talking about?" she asked. I guess I was talking a little louder than I'd thought.  
  
"Nothing," I replied, heading into the bathroom.  
  
"It didn't sound like nothing to me," she said through the door.  
  
"What?" I said a couple minutes later.  
  
"I heard what you said Bos," she replied getting in my face.   
  
"Yeah so what," I argued. "Like it matters anyway."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" she shot back.   
  
"It means that it doesn't matter."   
  
"Bos what are you talking about?" she asked.  
  
"I'm talking about me, you know my favorite subject...the only person I care about anyway."  
  
"That's not true," she argued.   
  
"Its not?" I countered. "Then I guess I just add that little comment to the rest of your lies."  
  
"Bosco...what's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"The lies Faith...all of them...the cancer that you conveniently forget to tell me about...why'd you really do that anyway? You think I couldn't handle it or were you just trying to protect me...Huh? Well I hope it's not the last part cause it damn near got me killed."  
  
"I explained all that to you," she said looking me straight in the eye, as if it really mattered.  
  
"You explained what you thought I wanted to hear. Its always that way isn't it? You tell me your version of things even if that happens to be as far from the truth as you can get."  
  
"Bos...you don't understand?"  
  
"No Faith, I don't understand. I don't understand how you could tell me that you miscarried a child. How you could tell me a bold face lie like that and then let me go on and on blaming myself for you losing a child? It was me who should have chased the perp; not you...you lied to me about losing your baby and you continued to lie to me about it even though I was blaming myself for it. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?"  
  
"I wasn't thinking clearly at the time...I was confused...I wanted that baby Bos. That child was a part of me. I think about that decision every day of my life. What was I supposed to do huh? I didn't think my marriage was going to survive...hell I'm still not sure it is and I couldn't do that to another child. I couldn't see bringing a child into the screwed up place I call my life."  
  
"What do you expect of your marriage when you tell your husband you're pregnant, then lie to him about a miscarriage all the while you're planning on aborting his child?"  
  
"My marriage was screwed up before that and you know it. Fred drinking all the time...spending money on booze while I stayed up all night wondering how I was going to pay the rent next month...or the heat the month after that."  
  
"Fred hasn't drank since the heart attack. You told me that yourself."  
  
"No he doesn't drink anymore but he's hardly the perfect husband. He's just changed from one little obsession to another."  
  
"Obsession? What are you talking about?"  
  
"I'm talking about Sheila...his new little vice. She's supposed to be his AA sponsor...he's always on the phone to her...at all hours of the day..."  
  
"You telling me Fred's having an affair?"  
  
"He goes to AA meetings Bos and he comes later and later each week...always with some sort of excuse....  
  
"Last week he had a doctor's appointment. I didn't know anything about it until the doctor's office called to reschedule it cause the doctor was in surgery. I tried to call him at work but they said he'd left for an appointment. When he finally got home, I asked him about the appointment. He said the doctor told him everything was fine from the surgery, but he needed to work on losing a few pounds. Some advice considering he never saw the doctor."  
  
"God Faith, I'm sorry," I replied, giving her a hug. I didn't know what else to do at the time so I just held her for what seemed like longer than it actually was. Eventually she let go of me.  
  
"How do you like that?" she continued after wiping the tears from her face. "I threw him out for drinking and lying about it. I take back with the condition that he gets help. And now he's screwing around with some bitch from the meetings. God Bos, I feel like such an idiot."  
  
"You're not an idiot Faith," I replied as her tears started to flow again. "You took him back cause he's the father of your kids. You were only doing what was best for your kids. Despite what Fred says, you're a good mother. Fred took advantage of the situation."  
  
"I offered to go to the meetings with him," she added. "But he wanted to go alone...at least at first he said. So I gave him some time to deal with the meetings on his own. Then he didn't think we should be spending money on a sitter so we could go together. He was full of excuses. Now I know why. He didn't want me to meet his girlfriend."  
  
"I'm sorry Faith," I interrupted her thought. "I was the one who pushed you to take him back...to give him another chance."  
  
"Don't do it Bos. Don't blame yourself for what Fred did...please...he's not worth it."  
  
"Faith," I said pausing for a moment. "Listen, I'll make you a deal. You don't blame yourself for his mistakes and I wont blame myself."  
  
We sat there together for a little while longer.  
  
"I'm sorry Bos," she said pulling away from me. Shaking her head as she looked into my eyes, I could see the intensity of what she was trying to say.  
  
"Sorry for what?" I asked.  
  
"Sorry for that night at the hospital. Sorry for saying that you're useless."  
  
"You were upset Faith. I know you didn't mean what you were saying."  
  
"Yeah I was upset but that doesn't mean what I said didn't hurt you," she continued. "You do care about people otherwise you wouldn't be a cop. I like to think that it isn't all about the guns and the flashing red lights."  
  
"Solving problems," I replied with a chuckle.  
  
"I thought Sully was the problem solver?" she questioned.   
  
"Yeah he is but as much as I hate to admit it, I think I try to do that too...solve people's problems I mean. Beats trying to deal with my own."  
  
"It always seems easier to solve other people's problem than our own. God knows you've tried to do that for me. I know you had it rough growing up and just cause you don't have kids of your own doesn't mean your thoughts on what's good for a kid aren't valid. Hell your opinions probably mean more to me than anyone. When you told me about your mom and dad and how they split up, Bosco that had a huge impact on me. I gave Fred another chance because of what you told me. The fact that it didn't work out wasn't your fault and it wasn't mine. Fact is you tried. You put yourself out there when you could have just gone home that night. Bosco, listen to me. You're my best friend. You're not useless...not to me anyway. I just wish I could be there for you the way you are for me."  
  
"You have been Faith, starting with that video tape of me with the Captains daughter. Then there was the time those jag-offs tried to rob me and I committed armed robbery of them. Everything with 9/11...come on Faith, you've been there for me plenty of times."  
  
"Bosco, can I ask you something?"  
  
"Sure," I answered a little curious what she was wondering. Given the topic of our conversation it could have been a lot of things but for some reason I felt it was bigger than all that other stuff.  
  
"You remember that night you came by my apartment...after I told the boss I thought you needed professional help?"  
  
"Yeah, I remember that," I replied as memories of that night flooded my mind.  
  
"Before that night...before you came by the apartment...I thought I'd lost you. We were so far apart at that time. It was like we lived in different worlds. I didn't think we'd be partners again."  
  
"To be honest with you," I stated. "During that whole time period. I really didn't want to be your partner. I was so angry...not just at you Faith...at everyone...at my whole life and the fact that I was still alive."  
  
"I knew that. I just didn't like what you were doing to yourself. I knew your anger went deeper than just me. I knew you'd be pissed at me for suggesting that you needed help too but I couldn't sit by and watch you self-destruct."  
  
"I was a mess Faith. You were right about that. Even though I didn't want to admit it, I needed something...or someone. You were there for me that night...holding me the way you did; I felt like you were the only thing holding me together."  
  
"It was odd Bosco. Before you showed up that night, we were as far apart as we ever have been and then after we talked, when I was holding you. I don't think I've ever felt closer to you."  
  
I looked at her for a minute. Probably long enough to make her wonder what the hell I was staring at but not long to answer my question.  
  
"Can I ask you a question?" I finally asked.  
  
"You can ask me anything Bos."  
  
"You think if you hadn't been married...you think we...that we might have gone out...you know...dated?"  
  
"Each other?" she asked, doing her best to stifle a laugh. "Bos this is too weird for even you."  
  
"Never mind...forget I asked." I said as I started to stand up.  
  
"Bos" she said stopping me from moving away from her. I started to turn to face her, wondering what kind of reaction I'd read when I actually looked at her. My reaction, or rather her reaction surprised me.  
  
I closed my eyes at her touch; so soft, so warm, so calming just as it had been that night when I'd cried in her arms. In many ways what I was searching for then was the same thing I needed from her now. I needed to know that I hadn't lost my best friend. But, in so many other ways, what I wanted from her now was very different. We were different people now then who we were then. The age-old parental story of what someone needs versus what someone wants rang through my brain. The trouble was, my wants were stronger than my needs. What I wanted from Faith was far more than what exists between best friends; far more than the love best friends share. I needed a love that exists between a man and a woman...something that I had never felt before, at least not until that moment.  
  
Her lips touched mine for the first time, creating a stir within my body. That one kiss was followed by several others, each one growing in intensity. It wasn't long before the two of us were searching for more then just kisses. I struggled with the buttons of her blouse before she came to my assistance. I removed my shirt as she was finishing with the buttons of her own. I lost myself in her very being: her eyes, her lips, her shoulders, and her breasts. Feeling her soft skin against my body was more intoxicating than anything ma's bar had to offer. It'd been too long since I'd been with a woman, far too long. I sensed that what Faith and I were about to share would carry an intensity that neither of us had felt in a long time. I needed to love Faith. I wanted to show her just how much she meant to me. The moment our bodies became one so too did my wants and my needs. The anger, the pain, the sadness...all the emotions that had possessed us since the blackout came to the surface. Together we conquered them all before collapsing together.  
  
A few minutes passed as we lay there together, my head on her chest. The deafening silence that had existed between us for months was now peaceful.  
  
"Bos?" she whispered.  
  
I struggled to look her in the eye not for shame or anything like that. It was more of this amazing feeling that seemed to possess my body at that moment. As our eyes met, she continued.  
  
"To answer your question from earlier," she said, gently stroking the skin of my arm with her fingertips. "Hypothetically, I don't think we would have dated each other. We probably would have killed one another if we tried."  
  
I had to smile at her answer, believing that she was telling the truth in a hypothetical sense.  
  
"But if I had known then what I know now," she continued. "I would have probably just used you for sex."  
  
For some reason when she said the words 'sex' the real world returned.  
  
"Faith?" I replied. "You know what just happened?"  
  
"Yeah Bos, we made love."  
  
"I never did this before Faith..." I replied, lost in my own thoughts. Thinking back I'm sure my comment startled Faith.  
  
"Bosco?" she replied stating my name in question form.  
"Seriously Faith, this was a first for me."  
  
"Bosco, what are you talking about?"  
  
"This Faith...you and me...making love...I never made love before, not like this."  
  
"Not like what exactly?"  
  
"Not in my mothers house. Faith, we just made love in my mother's living room."  
  
Faith broke into a fit of laughter at that moment. I loved the sound of her laugh even if it did occur as we were talking about making love.  
  
"Bosco, you had me worried there for a minute."  
  
I laughed along with her realizing what she was referring to. "Come on Faith. You know me better than that."  
  
"Yeah I know you Bosco. I just never realized how much I'd enjoy getting to know you better."  
  
"Oh so then tomorrow at work you won't mind talking about my sex life."  
  
"What no anti-crime tomorrow?"  
  
"Nope, gonna work with my partner tomorrow...if she still wants me for a partner that is."  
  
"We're still partners Bos...partners on duty and partners off duty."  
  
tbc 


	10. I should have known 10

Okay so maybe mornings aren't so bad. Yeah I know, I said I hate mornings but that was before.before one hell of a wake up kiss. See, my opinion of mornings before that day...lets just say I hadn't considered what a morning would be like if I was to wake up with my partner beside me, the two of us naked in bed after a night of making love.  
  
Things like that can change the way a guy sees things. What I was seeing at that moment looked pretty damn good. I could get used to this.  
  
The way Faith smiled at me meant one thing. Our night of making love was turning into a morning of making love. The woman was determined to kill me. What a way to go huh? I could just see my death certificate. Cause of death: excessive sex.  
  
At some point we made it to the bathroom, of course that led to sex in the shower. Mind you, I wasn't complaining. Did I mention how I'd been living a life of celibacy? Yeah well, the way I saw it, I had a lot of time to make up for.and Faith and I made up a lot of lost ground in those twelve hours. We debated calling in sick but I think the bosses would have been a little suspicious if both of us called in. I doubt they'd have a clue that Faith and I were lovers but they'd wonder all the same. As much as the idea intrigued me, I didn't want to deal with the after effects. Besides I 'd never passed up an opportunity to discuss my sex life with Faith and today was going to be a long conversation. For once, she might even join me..  
  
We made in into work. Yeah I was actually on time and in a good mood. I didn't even sleep through roll call although I did daydream a little.  
  
Ty jumped on the opportunity to question my mood. He was sure it involved a woman. I told him that maybe he was right and his face brightened. He looked over at Faith who simply shrugged her shoulders. On our way downstairs, she warned both him and Sully that if either of them did anything to spoil my good mood, they'd be answering to her. I had to laugh which earned me a glare from Sully.  
  
Our shift went by pretty smoothly, just the usual stuff. Dinnertime arrived and I was starved. We decided to stop off and see ma since I hadn't seen her all day. We visited her and I explained that I'd been exhausted.that I'd slept in and maybe everything was catching up to me. She didn't seem to question me so I let it go.  
  
I thought Ma looked good. Her color was returning to normal. Her doctor had been in and her tests were all good. If she continued to progress at this rate, she'd be home in five days or so. She asked about the bar and I told her that Faith and I had stopped there and everything seemed normal.  
  
I discovered that day that in some ways Faith knows me better than ma. When ma brought up the bar, I'd instinctly told her that everything was fine. What ma didn't pick up on was the change in my mood.  
  
"You gonna tell me what that was all about?" she asked as we were eating dinner. "What was what all about?" I asked.  
  
"I don't know Bos but it has something to do with your ma's bar."  
  
"What are you talking about?" I'd asked.  
  
"I'm talking about you and the discussion of your ma's bar. Come on, something's been on your mind since we left the hospital."  
  
"I'm not sure Faith."  
  
"Not sure about what?"  
  
"You remember that bag I took with when we left ma's bar last night?"  
  
"Yeah, you said it was some stuff you needed to drop off at your ma's place."  
  
"Yeah well, I did leave the bag at ma's.for now anyway until I figure out what's going on."  
  
"Bos, what was in the bag?"  
  
"Cash.a lot of cash Faith."  
  
"How much is a lot of cash?"  
  
"I don't know. I didn't actually count it."  
  
"Your ma had been in the hospital for almost a week now. It stands to reason that there'd be money in the safe especially if no one's made any deposits."  
  
"Yeah I know I haven't been there to check on the place in a week. Faith I've closed up with ma before and I've driven her to the bank so she could make a deposit. I don't know what's going on but there was a lot of cash in the safe.too much cash."  
  
"So what do you think it could be?"  
  
"I have an idea.I just hope I'm wrong."  
  
"Mikey?"  
  
"Yeah Mikey.and if that money got there from him it could only mean one thing.drugs."  
  
"So what are you gonna do?"  
  
"Nothing for now...if Mikey put that money there he's going to want it back. Odds are it's not his money so he's going to have to get it back. He goes back by ma's bar and finds out its gone, he's going to ask questions."  
  
"You sure, I mean if he starts asking questions, he's going to look guilty."  
  
"Yeah and if he doesn't get that money back he's going to have more to worry about than me."  
  
"So we wait.Bos, I really hope it's not Mikey."  
  
"Yeah, me too Faith.me too."  
  
Our shift ended and we decided to head over to ma's place to check on the money. I didn't like leaving it at her place but for now, it was the safest place I could think of.  
  
"Damn Bos.I've never seen this much money at one time. You know what I could do with this much money?"  
  
"Yeah, I can think of a few things I could do with a hundred grand. Damn Faith, a hundred grand. Where would Mikey get that much money?"  
  
"You and I both know the answer to that question. Bos, look, Mikey's your brother. Maybe you could ask him about the cash."  
  
"Yeah I know Faith, he's family but this is a lot of cash. I doubt he'll tell me where he got it."  
  
"You think it's from drugs?"  
  
"Where else would he get this kind of money?"  
  
"I don't know Bosco. He could've got hold of it a couple ways."  
  
"Yeah and none of the places make me feel any better.come on let's get out of here."  
  
We left ma's place, leaving the money there for one more night. I figured if Mikey had put the money there then he'd be looking for it by now. It was only a matter of time.  
  
For the second morning in a row, I woke up to Faith's kisses. It was after 9 o'clock. She'd been up since 7:30, had already showered and dressed. I showered and dressed while Faith made breakfast.  
  
After breakfast, I decided that maybe I'd go for a run. Two, three sometimes four days a week, I'd go for a morning run. Okay so my morning run usually didn't start until lunchtime but I did enjoy those jogs. Faith decided to join me for a run although she wasn't up for my usual five miles runs.  
  
We left my apartment around ten o'clock, stopping by her place to pick up a few things. Odd as it may sound, I'd almost forgotten about her other life; the one consisting of a so-called husband and two kids. Fred was at work and the kids were in school so we were in and out in ten minutes. The apartment was a disaster; dishes in the sink, an empty pizza box on the coffee table, dirty towels and clothing on the bathroom floor. The worst thing was the empty beer cans she stumbled across when she threw the pizza box in the trash. Faith was pissed. Good thing we were going for that jog. Faith really needed to work off some anger. She might just make the five miles after all.  
  
We started our run along Arthur, heading north. An hour into our run we ran into Kim and Alex. Actually it was more like the two of them stumbled across us. We were taking a short break  
  
"Hey guys," Alex said smiling.  
  
"Hey Alex, Kim.didn't expect to see you guys out here," Faith replied.  
  
"Yeah I could say the same for you and Bosco," Alex commented, glancing in my direction.  
  
"Yeah well I'm as surprised that I'm out here running too," Faith admitted.  
  
"Oh yeah?" Kim replied. "So what prompted you to go running.especially with this one?"  
  
"Hey!" I interrupted. "What do you mean 'this one'?"  
  
"She spends eight hours a day dealing with you. Why volunteer for more punishment?"  
  
"I resent that comment." I replied as the three of them laughed. Figuring it was time to get moving again, I called back to them, "Hey I can take a hint."  
  
"Come on Bos, I'm tired," Faith called after me.  
  
"Come on yourself. The car's three blocks over. I think you can last that long."  
  
"Speaking of cars, think we can grab a ride?" Kim asked.  
  
"Sure, why not?" I responded. The four of us walked the last three blocks.  
  
"Can I drive?" Alex asked smiling that smile that I'm sure got her what she wanted most of the time..most of the time. My car was another matter altogether.  
  
"You drive.my car?" I asked shaking my head.  
  
"Sure, why not?" she asked. "You let Kim drive it, why cant I?"  
  
"You let Kim drive your car?" Faith questioned in disbelief.  
  
"Yeah.once," I replied as Kim filled in the details.  
  
"I drove from the 55th to Angel of Mercy.it was a few days after his mom was hospitalized."  
  
"I needed to take care of a few things and I needed my car. Trouble was it was still parked outside the station. So I asked Kim here if she'd bring it up after work."  
  
"I would have brought it over for you Bos," Faith commented in a tone that made me question how she felt about this whole discussion.  
  
"You weren't working either Faith. This was when Charlie had the chicken pox."  
  
"Oh I see," she replied with a smile, directing her attention to Kim. "So how was it?"  
  
"Great, I love that car." Kim replied with a huge smile.  
  
As Kim spoke, my cell phone rang. I glanced at my caller ID and the number was a familiar one.not that that was a good thing as Faith soon discovered.  
  
"Mikey," I replied, my eyes meeting Faiths.  
  
"What do you want Mikey?" I said, talking into the phone.."I don't know what you're talking about.how much money? Where the hell did you get hold of that kind of money.don't lie to me Mikey.no I don't.fine.whatever"  
  
"So it was him?" Faith asked.  
  
"I swear, some days I wish I were an only child."  
  
"I thought you arrested your brother," Kim questioned.  
  
"I did but that was a couple years ago. He got out and now he's in deeper than he was when I arrested him."  
  
"Great," Faith mumbled.  
  
"Too bad you can't divorce him like I did Jimmy," Kim said, getting a laugh from me. Why I laughed at that I don't know, just seemed like the thing to do. She was right.sometimes I wished I could divorce my brother.  
  
"So what'd he do now?" Alex asked.  
  
"I'm not entirely sure yet Alex," I replied. It was the truth, I had a good idea but I didn't know all the facts. There was a piece of the puzzle missing.a big piece and I needed to figure it out.  
  
"Want some help?" Faith asked knowing I needed to talk about what was going on. Faith and I took turns acting as a sounding board for each other. Right now I needed to talk things through.  
  
tbc 


	11. I should have known 11

Faith and I dropped Kim and Alex off and headed for ma's bar. After my conversation with Mikey, I had a bad feeling about ma's bar. Mikey was out $100,000, money that wasn't his. That much I was sure. What he would do to get that money back was what worried me. At some point he'd become desperate. I'd seen him in that state a few times. usually brought on by a need for his current drug of the week.  
  
During the next couple hours, Mikey called me seventeen times. He was desperate to get hold of the money. Like it or not, Mikey and I are brothers and we share one thing...our stubborn streaks. I refused to give him back the money, refused to even acknowledge that I knew anything about it. Mikey refused to believe me, insisting that I had the money and he wouldn't stop until he got it back.  
  
I didn't have time to deal with this. Faith and I had to get to work. The only problem was Mikey was right; I had the money. Now all I had to do was figure out what to do with it while we worked. Faith wasn't pleased with my decision. The safest place for the cash was with me. Faith refused to let me put it in the trunk of our RMP so I did the only thing I could do. I left it in my locker inside my duffle bag.  
  
Mikey's calls continued. After the third call in a half hour, I stopped answering my cell.   
  
"Bosco, why don't you just turn it off?" Faith suggested.  
  
"Ma's still in the hospital," I argued. "The hospital has my cell number on ma's chart."  
  
"I know Bos but they know you're a cop. If they need to reach you..."  
  
"Son of a bitch" I shouted, pounding my fist on the steering wheel as I slammed on the brakes, making a U-turn.  
  
"Bosco, what the hell's wrong with you?" Faith shouted.  
  
"Mikey wants to talk to me. He thinks I have the money and he wants it back." I explained.   
  
"Bosco, what's wrong?" Faith questioned. A million thoughts were screaming inside my head at that point.   
  
"Mikey knows that ma's in the hospital Faith."  
"Bosco, you don't think Mikey would do anything to Rose? Bos, listen to me. Mikey would never hurt your mother."  
  
I was out of the car before it stopped. Rushing up the sidewalk I nearly ran over Doc and Carlos transporting a patient. I could hear Doc yelling, I imagine his anger was directed at me but I didn't care. I had one thing on my mind at that moment. I needed to check on ma.  
  
I heard the yelling the moment we got off the elevator. Instincts told me to reach for my gun. Faith followed me as we ran down the halls, pushing everyone out of our way.  
  
As we turned the last corner before ma's room, I slowed down, listening to what was happening. Ma was talking to someone. I moved across the hall getting a closer look. I discovered there were several people in the room with ma. My brother was no surprise. What surprised me were three others...Kim...Alex...and my father.  
  
Kim was facing the doorway and she was the first one to spot me across the hall. She played it cool, not letting on that Faith and I were in the hall.   
  
Faith and I listened to shouting, trying to make sense of what was going on. I was right about the money. It didn't belong to Mikey after all. It belonged, or had belonged to my father although I seriously doubted that was anything more than a possession factor. Not many cab drivers had access to $100,000 cash.   
  
Kim and Alex's part it all this was most likely innocent bystanders. I guessed that the two of them had stopped to visit ma and unfortunately were in the wrong place at the wrong time. As far as my father was concerned, his time was running out.  
  
I moved back into the hall after telling Faith what was going on. I nodded my head to the right trying to get Kim to move aside. I soon discovered that she lived in the right city, she just worked at the wrong job.  
  
"Damn it Alex," she grumbled at her partner. "This is good, real good. We wouldn't be here if it weren't for you."  
  
"What the hell," Alex responded, a little surprised at the sudden outburst.   
  
"Look, I told you I was hungry right? I wanted to go back to the station and get something to eat. But no, you had to come up here for a visit. 'We won't stay long.' you say."  
  
"Well it isn't my fault," Alex argued. "I didn't plan on walking in on these two...two..."  
  
At some point, Alex must have caught on cause she and Kim got into a huge argument, shoving one another until they were clearly out of my sight causing quite a rucus in the process. The deafening sound of the two of them arguing drowned out any sound Faith and I made as we rounded the corner. The last thing I remember was my father raising a gun, pointing in the direction of my ma. What followed was gunshots, screaming and blood...a lot of blood.  
  
When the dust had settled, two bodies on the floor, both had been shot. My life was moving in slow motion as I stepped over my father's now still body. I leaned over picking up the gun my father just moments ago had aimed at my mother. For her part, ma was alright, physically anyway. Mikey wasn't so lucky. He'd stepped in front of the bullet that was meant for my ma.   
  
Moments later, the room was full of people; doctors, nurses and eventually other police officers... At some point, a sheet was placed over the body of what was once my father. Ma's doctor had brought in a wheelchair, putting ma in it and taking her to another room where they could check her out. Alex and Faith went with ma, trying to calm her down. I suspected they would need to drug her to get her to calm down, especially given her current heart condition.   
  
The doctors were working on Mikey. He'd been shot at least twice that I could see. They loaded him onto a gurney. I followed them to trauma, never letting go of my brother's hand. I wasn't sure if he was conscious or if he could hear me but I kept talking to him. He was Mikey, my little brother and once again I had failed to protect him.   
  
Kim pulled me away from him as they wheeled him in. It seemed like hours when it was really only a few minutes before they brought him out again, taking him up to surgery. I pleaded with anyone to tell me how he was doing. I had no idea how long he'd be in surgery and I needed something to hold onto.  
  
What information I got was not putting my mind at ease. Mikey was bleeding internally and he was losing a lot of blood. They didn't know the exact cause yet. They'd know more after they opened him up.  
  
I slumped into a chair just as Swersky and Hancock walked in.  
  
"Boscorelli?" Hancock replied in that authorative voice that I hated. I was in no mood to talk and I told him so. He jumped all over me, yelling and throwing his weight around. I didn't need to hear about procedures. I've been a cop long enough to know procedure. I just didn't want any part of his 'procedure'.  
  
Faith walked in about that time, drawing Lieu's attention away from me.  
  
"Can we talk Lieu?" she asked.  
  
Lieu followed her down the hall. Eventually Hancock gave up trying to talk to me and went in search of the two of them. He walked in on Faith's version of what had happened.  
  
"Bosco and I were on our way to see his mom. We got off the elevator and made our way down the hall to her room. As we got closer to her room, we heard voices, angry voices."  
  
"Did you recognize the voices?" Lieu asked.  
  
"Yeah, well one of them anyway. Two guys were arguing, one older guy and a younger one. The younger one I knew. It was Bosco's brother Mikey...Michael. I don't know what they were arguing about. They were both yelling at each other and I couldn't make out what was going on."  
  
"Was anyone else in the room?"  
  
"Yeah, Kim Zambrano and Alex Taylor were there too."  
  
"The paramedics from across the street?"  
  
"Yeah, that's them. When Bosco's mom had the heart attack, Kim and Alex were the ones who got the call. They've been stopping in and visiting her. I guess they were visiting today when the guys came in. Anyway, the shouting went on and Bosco made eye contact with Kim. He used his head to motion for her to move to the right side of the room. She started arguing with Alex. Eventually the two of them moved aside so Bosco and I could get a clear look. About that time, the older guy aimed his gun at Bosco's mom. We suspected he had a gun cause otherwise Kim and Alex would have left the room. It made sense. Anyway, as the older guy aimed, Mikey jumped forward. He was shot protecting his mother."  
  
"The old guy...you know who he is?"  
  
"At the time of the shooting, I didn't but yeah I know who he is. He's Bosco's father...uh, he was Bosco's father. He's dead. He was shot."  
  
"I'm going to need to take your gun and I'll need Boscorelli's too."  
  
"I understand sir. Actually I have all three...mine, Bosco's and Bosco's father's."  
Lieu checked out all three guns.   
  
"Officer Yokas, did you fire your gun?" Hancock asked.  
  
"No, I shot him," Bosco replied from the doorway. "Son of a bitch tried to kill my mother...he shot my brother...he deserved to die." 


	12. I should have known 12

Faith and I didn't talk about the son of a bitch known to others as my father. Basically the reason for that was I had nothing to say.  
  
I had other things to worry about. Ma for one, lying in a hospital bed, nearing killed by the man who had once made vows to love her forever. I guess he didn't stick to those vows. A gun and threats to kill are hardly ways of expressing love. Truth is, I really don't know what ma thought of him. She'd been in love with him once, married him and had two sons with him. It still baffles me how you can love someone and try to kill that person in the same lifetime.  
  
Faith sat with me, the two of us sharing the silence outside the operating room. Mikey had been in surgery for several hours although it seemed like weeks.   
  
"Any word?" Kim asked, Alex beside her.  
  
"Nothing yet," Faith replied. I would have answered myself except that I was off to pace the hospital hallway again.  
  
Faith said nothing, letting me go.  
  
"How's Bosco doing?" Alex asked, watching me as I was out of hearing distance.  
  
"He's doing about as well as can be expected," Faith explained.  
  
"As well as someone can do after watching his father try to kill his mother, shooting his brother instead," Kim replied, almost for herself as much as for anyone else.  
  
"Yeah," Alex replied. What else was there to say?  
  
"How's Rose?" Faith asked calmly yet with great concern.  
  
"She's sleeping," Kim explained. She and Alex had stayed with Rose after the shooting in ma's hospital room. "The doctor gave her something to make her sleep. She'll probably sleep through the night."  
  
"That's good," Faith replied. "Maybe by the time she wakes up, we'll have some good news regarding Mikey's condition."  
  
"I think Bosco needs some good news soon rather than later," Kim commented.  
  
"He's really had a rough couple of weeks," Alex replied, recalling the past weeks for Bosco. "First he almost loses his mom to heart failure. She has surgery, apparently successful only to have complications from surgery causing her to arrest with Bosco in the room. Now his father tries to kill Rose, shooting Mikey instead."  
  
"Bosco's tough," Kim explained. "But even his armor is bound to show a few cracks after all this."  
  
"Bosco does a pretty good job of looking tough," Faith added a few thoughts of her own. "Inside though, when it comes to the people he loves...Rose...Mikey...he's not all that tough."  
  
"We went by Rose's apartment with Bos," Kim explained an event that seemed like years ago although it had only been a couple weeks. "She had all these pictures of Bosco and Mikey. One of them, Mikey was just a baby...Bosco was about two...they were so cute...so sweet...so innocent, like the mean, cruel world had yet to touch their young lives."  
  
"Bosco...sweet...innocent?" Alex recalled seeing the photo that night as well. "You wonder what happened to change that sweet little boy into the Bosco we all know?"  
  
"I think some of that little boy is still there," Faith continued on Alex's thought. "The part that never got a chance to grow up at least not at the rate a little boy should. The day he took on the role as man of the house, that little boy stopped growing up. That time between the little boy and the man; the gradual process of happily ever after to the big cruel world...the gradual changing process of learning to understand the how and why...he missed all that. That rationale just isn't there."  
  
"That little boy part," Alex replied, after a moment of silence. "He was just here. He was just sitting right here in this room."  
  
"Officer Yokas?" one of the nurses interrupted. "You have a phone call. You can take it at the desk."  
  
Faith disappeared, returning five minutes later.  
  
"Everything okay Faith?" Kim asked, seeing the expression on her face.  
  
"No, Charlie's sick again," Faith explained. "You guys gonna be here a while?"  
  
"Don't worry about a thing," Alex explained. "We'll stay here."  
  
"Jimmy's got Joey tonight," Kim explained. "Alex and I...we'll stay as long as Bosco needs us."  
  
"And if he kicks us out, we'll go sit with Rose." Alex added.  
  
"Thank you," Faith replied, about to continue before Alex cut her off.  
  
"We'll call you the minute we hear anything."  
  
Faith didn't respond to Alex's comment, a smile was all that was needed.  
  
"Take care of Charlie," Kim added, fully understanding having a sick child. "Call us if you need anything."  
  
"I think the two of you have done so much already," Faith replied, almost in tears.  
  
"Hey, you'd do the same for us," Alex replied. "That goes for Bosco too."  
  
Faith had been gone for about fifteen minutes when I returned.  
  
"Where's Faith? I asked. It seemed a simple question.  
  
"Charlie's not feeling too well," Kim explained.  
  
I nodded. I knew it had to be something for Faith to leave right now. Charlie being sick made sense.  
  
"I thought you two were with ma," I replied. It wasn't a question really but it sounded that way after I'd said it.  
  
"She's asleep," Alex explained. "Doctor gave her something. She'll be out of it til morning."  
  
"Good thing," I replied, finally taking a seat. "Nothing she can do anyway."  
  
"I'll go up and check on her in a while," Alex offered, trying to put my mind at ease.  
  
"I'll go," I replied, once again getting to my feet. They might have thought I didn't see but I did. Kim and Alex glanced at one another.  
  
"I'm fine, really," I replied, unsure who I was really trying to convince...them or me. "I'll make you a deal. If I'm not back in an hour, you can come look for me."  
  
"Any word on Mikey, we'll find you sooner," Kim replied.   
  
I got off the elevator at mom's floor, stopping momentarily as I exited the elevator. It was obvious I wasn't thinking clearly. Around a corner, I was greeted by yellow tape...POLICE LINE...DO NOT CROSS'. Without thinking, I'd gone to the room mom had been in for the past couple days. Standing in the hallway, I spotted two detectives. I didn't need I.D. I could tell they were detectives by their moments. They didn't see me for several minutes. By then, I'd gotten an eyeful. The scene was pretty much as I remembered it, with the exception of the people. Ma wasn't lying in the hospital bed. Mikey wasn't lying on the floor, neither was my old man. The pool of blood was still there although I wasn't sure whose blood it was. Maybe Mikey's...maybe my old man's. Probably both, I concluded. How's that for irony. I thought of my life compared to Mikey's. We'd been close as kids...growing up in the same bedroom. As adults, we'd grown apart. Now it seemed like we lived on different planets. Today was proof of how different we were. In a matter of seconds, Mikey had saved our ma's life while I had taken our father's.  
  
"This is a crime scene," one of them replied. I didn't respond right away, being lost in thought.  
  
"I'm gonna have to ask you to leave," the second guy replied. I left without a word to either of them.  
  
My mind returned to the present and I made my way to ma's new room. Just as Alex and Kim had said, she was sleeping.   
  
I had only been in the room for fifteen minutes when a nurse popped her head in the door.  
  
"I'm sorry," she replied. "Visiting hours were over several hours ago. You can come back tomorrow at eight."  
  
As she finished explaining this, a second nurse appeared, drawing the attention of the first one. I figured it was okay for me to stay, at least for the time being. Neither of them returned that night.  
  
At some point, I dozed off, sitting in a chair. The next thing I knew, Kim was talking to me...trying to talk to me anyway. I was kind of out of it.  
  
"Bosco," she replied, shaking my arm several times before trying something new.  
  
"Bos...wake up," Alex replied, taking a shot at waking me up.  
  
"Hmmm...what is it?" I mumbled, not fully awake just yet.  
  
"Come on," Kim replied, pulling me to a sitting position.  
  
"Mikey?" I questioned, my mind finally focusing.  
  
"Yeah, he's out of surgery," Alex replied. "Come with us."  
  
I was standing now, following Kim and Alex into the hallway. As I walked, my mind cleared, my worry over Mikey returning.  
  
The walk back to the OR waiting room was quick. I was practically dragging Kim and Alex, both of whom had hold of me. Kim's hand around my elbow, Alex holding my hand in hers.  
  
I knew Mikey was going to be okay. Only after taking a seat in a deserted waiting room did the two of them explain.  
  
"Like we said, he's going to be okay," Kim reaffirmed. "He's got some healing to do but he should recover completely."  
  
"The quick version is they removed his spleen, some bone fragments from his ribs, re-inflated a lung and repaired some broken ribs."  
  
"Mikey was bleeding internally which was caused by the bullet tearing through his spleen. Once they removed that, his condition improved." Alex continued her explanation of Mikey's condition. "The bullet also broke a few ribs, one of them puncturing the lung. The doctors repaired the lung, re-inflated it. The ribs should heal just fine."  
  
"Right now he's in recovery, he'll be there for awhile," Kim picked up where Alex left off. "They have him on a respirator but that's due to the damage to the lung. The respirator is just making it easier for him to breath, giving that lung a chance to heal."  
  
"When can I see him?" I asked, glancing from Kim to Alex.  
  
"Probably not til later this morning," Kim explained.  
  
"I'll go ask the doctor," Alex replied, getting up and heading the to nurses' station.  
  
She returned ten minutes later with a doctor.  
  
"This is Dr. Wesley."  
  
The doctor reached out, I shook his hand without thinking.  
  
"I understand you've had a rough evening," he replied. I nodded, still not thinking. "I don't normally do this but under the circumstances, I'll allow you a few minutes with your brother."  
  
I followed this Dr Wesley guy down a few halls. We entered a room, fairly quiet except for the sound of machines.  
  
"Michael was a lucky guy...his injuries could have been much worse," Dr Wesley explained.   
  
The doctor explained to me everything...the injuries...the surgery...his present condition and what the damn sounds coming from the machines meant. It was pretty much the same as Alex and Kim had explained except for the damn beeping noises. I talked to Mikey for a few minutes, touching his hand. The machine sounds changed and I glanced over at the doctor.  
  
"I think he knows you're here," he explained.  
  
"Why do you say that?" I asked.  
  
"The way his vitals changed. Sometimes even when you're not awake, you're still aware of what's going on around you. Based on the changes in his vitals, I'd say he recognizes your voice."  
  
The doctor took a step back. "I'll give you a few minutes...only a couple though."  
  
In those few minutes, I explained everything to Mikey...that he was in the hospital and that ma was okay. I didn't know if telling him that was good or not but I figured he might remember what'd happened. I didn't tell him about our old man though. I wasn't sure how'd he react. That would have to wait til he was awake...after the doctor agreed it was okay.  
  
Alex and Kim were still waiting when I left Mikey.  
  
"Bosco?" Kim replied, getting my attention. "I think you need to get some rest too. Come on, you can crash at my place. It's not far from here. I already gave the doctor my name and phone number so if he should need to find you, he can call."  
  
I didn't reply except for a yawn and a nod of my head. I followed Kim and Alex out to the parking lot, spotting my car sitting there.  
  
"How'd my car get here?"   
  
"Ty and Sully brought it over after they got off shift," Kim explained, jiggling the keys in her hand. "So you mind if I drive?"   
  
"No, that's fine," I replied, getting a strange look from both of them.  
  
"I'm in no shape to drive," I explained. "Just be easy with her okay?"  
  
"Her?" The two of them replied.  
  
"Does 'her' have a name?" Alex teased.  
  
"Na, I just always refer to a car as a 'her'." I explained.  
  
The drive to Kim's place was short. It'd been a relatively quiet ride. My body was exhausted as well as my mind.  
  
Kim took all of five minutes to prefer Joey's bed for me. Only trouble with that was it took me less than that to doze off on her sofa.   
  
They took their conversation into the kitchen.  
  
"Damn...what a night." Kim sighed.  
  
"Yeah, it's been a long one." Alex agreed. "I think I'll give Faith a call."  
  
Alex used Kim's phone to call Faith, filling her in on Mikey's condition and letting her know that Bosco was asleep on Kim's sofa. Faith was relieved on both counts. Glad that Mikey was going to be okay and especially happy that Bosco was getting some rest.  
  
Hanging up the phone, she discovered Kim in the living room, her eyes watching Bosco.  
  
"Hey, you okay?" Alex asked.  
  
"I was just thinking," Kim began explaining. "I never thought much about it but Bosco...I think he and Bobby would have been good friends."  
  
"Bosco and Bobby?" Alex questioned, her face expressing confusion.  
  
"I never really gave it much thought til tonight," Kim continued. "They both grew up without a father's presence...Bobby used to be so protective of his mom. I think Bosco and Rose have the same type of relationship. Bobby's brother Matty was always in trouble with the law just like Mikey...I just think, had Bobby not died, the two of them could have been close."  
  
"I guess you're right," Alex shrugged. "I never gave it much thought but you're right. Course they're different in a lot of ways too."  
  
"Yeah, definitely different alright," Kim replied with a chuckle, then a yawn.  
  
"I think we need to take our own advice...sleep." Alex replied.  
  
"Sleep sounds good," Kim answered. She took a moment to put a blanket over Bosco.  
  
to be continued... 


End file.
